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Miss Lazar Is Bizarre!
Cover of Miss Lazar Is Bizarre!
Miss Lazar Is Bizarre!
My Weird School Series, Book 9
With more than 23 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading! In this ninth book in the My Weird School series, Miss Lazar likes to dance around the school with a mop! She...
With more than 23 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading! In this ninth book in the My Weird School series, Miss Lazar likes to dance around the school with a mop! She...
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Description-

  • With more than 23 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading!

    In this ninth book in the My Weird School series, Miss Lazar likes to dance around the school with a mop! She has a secret room down in the basement where she keeps the bad kids. She says cleaning throw-up is fun! Miss Lazar is the weirdest custodian in the history of the world!

    Perfect for reluctant readers and word lovers alike, Dan Gutman's hugely popular My Weird School series has something for everyone. Don't miss the hilarious adventures of A.J. and the gang.

Excerpts-

  • Chapter One

    A Bathroom Emergency

    My name is A.J. and I hate school.

    Listen, I'm about to tell you something I never told anyone else. I never even told my best friends, Michael and Ryan.

    But you can't tell anyone. It's a secret. Promise? Cross your heart and hope to die? Are you ready? Okay, here's the secret.

    I can't tell you.

    Oh, all right, I'll tell you.

    Sometimes, when I'm at school, I ask my teacher, Miss Daisy, if I can go to the bathroom even though I don't really have to go to the bathroom. That's the secret.

    Okay, okay, so it isn't such a great secret.

    But sometimes I just get that antsy feeling, and I want to get out of class for a few minutes. So I ask to go to the boys' room.

    I was feeling that antsy feeling one day in class. Miss Daisy was talking about weather, and she was showing us pictures of volcanoes and tornadoes. It was pretty cool, but I just wanted to stretch my legs for a few minutes. So I raised my hand and asked Miss Daisy if I could go to the boys' room. She said okay.

    Nobody else was in the boys' room. I didn't have much to do in there. There's not a whole lot to do in a bathroom, except for go to the bathroom, which I didn't have to do. I looked in the mirror for a minute and made funny faces. I washed my hands. I shot paper towels at the garbage can. Then I figured I'd better get back to class.

    I thought I should flush the toilet because then it would sound like I really went to the bathroom. So I flushed it.

    You know how the water is supposed to swirl around and around the toilet bowl like a little tornado and then go down the hole in the bottom? Well, this water didn't swirl at all. It didn't go down the hole, either. It just started rising.It got higher.

    And higher.

    It went all the way up to the very edge of the bowl. I started to panic. And then it went over the edge and started spilling onto the floor! Water was pouring out of the toilet bowl! It looked just like those erupting volcanoes Miss Daisy was telling us about. I thought I was gonna die.

    I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I had to think fast. So I ran out of the boys' room and started yelling.

    "Help! There's a volcano in the boys' room! Run for your life! It's erupting! The toilet is going to explode!"

    Everybody came running out of our class, even Miss Daisy. Our principal, Mr. Klutz, was down the hall. He came running over too.

    "What's going on?" asked Mr. Klutz, who has no hair on his head at all. I mean none. His head is like a big lightbulb.

    "I flushed . . . and the water . . . it got higher . . . and it's going to blow!" I panted. I was all out of breath.

    Mr. Klutz pulled out his walkie-talkie and started talking into it. "Miss Lazar!" he said. "Come quickly to the boys' bathroom! It's an emergency!"

About the Author-

  • Dan Gutman is the New York Times bestselling author of the Genius Files series; the Baseball Card Adventure series, which has sold more than 1.5 million copies around the world; and the My Weird School series, which has sold more than 12 million copies. Thanks to his many fans who voted in their classrooms, Dan has received nineteen state book awards and ninety-two state book award nominations. He lives in New York City with his wife, Nina. You can visit him online at www.dangutman.com.

Reviews-

  • School Library Journal

    April 1, 2013
    Gr 1-3-There's plenty of kid humor in the ninth book (HarperCollins, 2005) in Gutman's series. It all begins when A.J. goes to the bathroom and the toilet overflows. Fortunately, the school has Miss Lazar, the superhero of custodians. Although the cause was crayons stuffed down the toilet, a rumor begins that there is a ghost in the boys' bathroom and the boys refuse to go in it until Miss Lazar assures them that they're safe. All of the superhero talk depresses the principal, Mr. Klutz, so the students devise a plan to make him a hero also. Not surprisingly, the plan doesn't work as expected when Mr. Klutz gets stuck halfway up the school wall and Miss Lazar has to be called in to rescue him with a plunger from her plunger museum, which, at the end of the book, is still stuck to Mr. Klutz's bald head. The book is silly fu Narrator Jared Goldsmith does a great job of voicing the book's silliness and fun. A worthwhile purchase, especially where the series is popular.-"Stephanie Farnlacher, Trace Crossings School, Hoover, AL"

    Copyright 2013 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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Miss Lazar Is Bizarre!
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My Weird School Series, Book 9
Dan Gutman
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